Hypergamy and What You Can do About It

I am going to assume that you have never heard about the word “Hypergamy”, or if you have, you most likely don’t quite understand what it is. In a nutshell, Hypergamy is the biological and evolutionary drive of a woman to marry the best possible mate she can find. In terms of evolutionary strategy, this mate would be the best in terms of genetic attributes (physique, looks, etc.) and provider/protector characteristics (good father, can protect the family, etc.). This would ensure her child would be the best of the best in terms of the gene pool, and survive to continue the legacy.

Hypergamy for the advancement of our society is a good thing. Since women constantly want the best man they can get, this has in turn allowed men to compete for these women on many levels. This could be gaining a good physique, inventing new technologies, or building dynasties and empires; all which have progressed us forward as a species. While it is good for the progression of society (at least in the past), for most males living in this modern age, Hypergamy isn’t necessarily a good thing.

Hypergamy and its fallacies

In its purest form, Hypergamy aims to keep women as the primary selectors when it comes to mating. Studies have shown that in our history as humans, 40-50% of males successfully reproduced, while close to 90% or more of women reproduced successfully. Although it is a tough pill to swallow, women have been in control of making sure we continue to survive as a species.

What you need to understand is that Hypergamy is a woman’s biological instinct. It has been forged over hundreds and thousands of years in order for her to make sure she wins the evolutionary lottery every time. This means that Hypergamy won’t go away.

Instinctively, women are always on the lookout for an “Alpha Male” type that has the best biological and physical attributes. This is why we always hear about those instances of  women gravitating to the “jerk” or “asshole” archetypes. Women are drawn to these guys because they display masculine, dominant, and assertive characteristics that naturally trigger emotional reactions within them. But you can’t get mad at women for this. It would be like a woman getting mad at you for liking supple tits and a even more supple ass. Its just natural for some of us guys.

Hypergamy’s evolution has given rise to many males who are frustrated with their sex lives, and because of this evolution, are basically taught to be “feminine males”. We also get males who were taught how to be men by women, or weren’t raised to be masculine men by their fathers because their fathers also subscribed to the imperative of Hypergamy. What we have left is a male generation completely confused and utterly unsuccessful when it comes to sex and women. So, what can we do?

Using Hypergamy to Your Advantage

As stated above its here to stay. But knowing and accepting this will be your first step into using it to your advantage. Now, I am not going to say that this will be an easy task to achieve, but nothing worth living for in life is easy.

Since we know that women want the best men in terms of status, physique, masculine traits, dominance, assertiveness, etc, then all you have to do is focus on self improvement and becoming a more masculine man. Now I know it is easier said than done, but you have to ask yourself… how bad do you want to succeed with women?

If what you are doing right now isn’t giving you the results you want with women, then you have to change what you’re doing. You need to look deep inside of yourself and analyze what aspects of your character and identity need to change in order for you to become the man you’ve always wanted to be. It will be a very bitter pill to swallow to know that your lack of success with women has nothing to do with women, but only with how you act as a man.

I’m definitely not advocating for you to change your identity completely, but what I am saying is that women can’t be the focus of your life. You need to be the focus of your life. You need to focus on your confidence, on your self image, your self respect, your hopes and dreams, your passions and your goals. Women are meant to be a compliment to a man’s life, and with a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into transforming who you are inside and outside as an individual, women will come to you as a by-product.

The quote “If you build it, they will come” has never been more applicable than to your self improvement and your success in a world filled with Hypergamy. But while focusing on your self improvement will make you more attractive in the eyes of women, you also need to learn how the female psyche works. You must understand what all of those “jerks” and “assholes” are doing that makes them successful with women.

You don’t have to be an asshole and disrespect women, but instead of hating the men who have the women that you want, analyze what they do that works. With the internet and the Manosphere, this is exactly what men all around the world are doing. They are evaluating the mindsets of successful males, analyzing the female psyche, and actually getting out there and applying all of this ‘enhanced understanding’. 

The Importance of a Masculine You

Why is masculinity important? It is important because this entire world and the history of our species was built upon it. Empires were forged by masculine men, wars were fought by masculine men, the men that eventually earned the right to reproduce were masculine.

Hypergamy seeks to silence masculinity in an extremely feminine western society. With your masculinity reclaimed, you will stand out from the herd. Women will want to be with you, and some men will have negative reactions to your mere presence. In the end, you will command respect and achieve dominance in most aspects of your life. That is why masculinity is important. It is in your DNA and primal hard-wiring to be masculine. Everyday your masculine side cries to be let out. It desires to roar and beat its chest, and let the world know that you can shake it with your words and physical presence.

This is what Hypergamy doesn’t want, but what our society desperately needs. If there is one step you can take towards developing a strategy against Hypergamy, it would be to start reclaiming your masculinity and focus on yourself and progressing forward as an an individual, and a man. Anderson Paak says in one of his songs: “You’ll never go broke chasing riches, but you might go broke chasing every little stank ass h* with a tongue piercing”, and I think this couldn’t be more true. The word “riches” can be ambiguous. But the riches of reclaiming your masculinity, seeking self improvement, and furthering yourself as a man are worth more than their weight in gold.

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